Self-Doubt creeping in

Yesterday, on a long car ride, I felt an increasing sense of doubt. What if I won't do well? What if this isn't the career for me? What if I fail after spending so much time and money in another degree?

I kept thinking about this reoccurring dream that I constantly have. The dream is about me being in school. I have had this dream several times, usually in times of stress. I am in school and I have a full class load. Sometimes I am in high school and sometimes I am in college. Regardless of that fact, I attend all of my classes except one. I constantly forget that I have this ONE class to take on this one day at a specific time. I see it on my class list, and its in my calendar but I never attend the class. Every week, I prepare to take the class but I NEVER walk in or I just forget. Throughout the dream, I continue trying to find a way to get myself to class but it never works out. EVER! It's a really stressful dream because I think about the money I am spending for credits, my GPA being affected, and my personal perception of myself but I do nothing about it.

I know I am many steps away from starting the Accelerated BSN program and I know that I have told myself to take it "step by step." First, Anatomy and Physiology, then Chemistry and so on BUT it just seems so overwhelming and taxing. Considering that my work and financial situation is so unbalanced, I feel the sense of hurry to get it all done and get myself in a better place. Wish it was that easy.

Thanks for reading.

I registered!

I just registered for Anatomy and Physiology I at my local community college. I'll be taking the course on a Sunday! Crazy I know but the best time in the case that I find a full-time job soon.

Next year, I will be in a lecture followed by a lab from 12pm to 5pm every Sunday.

Wish me luck.

Is this really for me?

Early this summer, I had a conversation with a doctor friend and fellow Zumba instructor on a long car ride to another friend's home. I told her how I had been thinking about looking at nursing programs. She excitedly said I should definitely do it. I listened but then put it in my back pocket.

The thoughts that ran through my head were:

• Are you kidding? You already have two degrees.
• Do you have any idea what this will cost you?
• You haven't studied any science since High School?
• You can't just jump up and decide you want to change careers. The world doesn't work that way.
• You are crazy.

I thought about it but always came to the same conclusion. I was insane. Until another friend of mine who is also in marketing and also in fitness and is unemployed confided in me that he had been thinking of nursing. I ran through all my thoughts with him and he confirmed that I was crazy. Not because I was thinking it but because I just stored it away and gave up on the thought so quickly WITHOUT doing any research.

So, I began researching. I began learning about the various programs and I organized a spreadsheet. Here is the list that I put together of things that were important to me:

1. Location - I didn't want to go to a school that was too difficult to commute to as I realized the Accelerated Programs were eight hours a day and then you need time to study. Being far from home would extend my time away by at least an hour, perhaps two, and I wouldn't have any time for anything else. 
2. Length of time - In my book, more time is more money and I can't afford being in school for too long.
3. Cost per credit or Cost of program - something I never considered in undergrad or even grad school but a definitely consideration now. 
4. Pre-requisites: The way I see it, the more pre-requisites that the school requested of me that I already didn't have, the more money I would have to spend.

Doing the research and making myself fill out my spreadsheet helped me start learning about programs, the school offering it, and the type of students. Most students who go for the Accelerated BSN program are professionals in career transition just like me. 

Anyway, I decided to take a step-by-step approach. I'm signing up for one or two courses in the spring semester at a local community college. If I enjoy the coursework, and want to continue, then I will. If not, then I won't. My goal is to pay for all my pre-requisites on my own without student loans so this might be a long process but I am excited about it.

See ya later! 

First post - why a blog?

I have been toying with the idea of starting this blog for a couple of months now. I have a Masters in Business Administration with a concentration in Marketing. During this economy, I've found myself struggling to find work. I once had an awesome job but due to changes in leadership, I lost it. This occurred four months after obtaining my MBA and right in the middle of this crazy recession. I, like many of my MBA classmates, thought I was marketable enough to find another job. So after complete desperation and blowing right through my savings, I took a job without doing much research. It was for a start-up firm. It was a marketing position, it was social media, and finally, it was a job. How could I really complain. Like really???  So what I was making $20K less than in my last position and so what I had to fight for health insurance, a job is a job is a job, right? I should be thankful.

Well yes UNTIL . . .

Like many other start-ups in both good and bad times, the one I was working for, began losing revenue and looking for ways to cut bulk. I eventually became the ONLY employee at this company and now I am a part-time employee - making peanuts.

Prior to ALL of this happening, I found a deep desire to learn more about health and fitness. I have a family that's pretty sick and I became interested in learning more about healthcare and healthy living. I became a personal trainer and a group fitness instructor. Working part-time in this field has peeked my curiosity in the medical field. I work with people who have injuries, illnesses, and need care. They ask me about this stuff BUT I am not qualified! I have many friends that are doctors and nurses and I see how much they love their jobs and realized that I too can be a nurse. That I like to care for others and that medicine, health and wellness is something I want to learn more about.

After DEEP thought and even a DEEPER look at the cost of going back to school, I realized I wanted to give a shot. I have some pre-requisites I need to take and then the nursing school application process. I did some research on various forums and found no information on the REALITY of switching careers. I figured, I can provide my experience and my advice to others who are looking.

From today until the day I graduate with my Accelerated Bachelor's Degree in Nursing, I will attempt to blog about my experiences to help others going through or considering the same transition.

That's all for now!


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